Practicing Patience

Tomorrow will be the 3•Niner! 39 weeks pregs and still no baby! To say the least I am very anxious and my fears of labor have fully vanished, so here I wait and wonder, "will today be the BIG D day?" I can hardly sit in this anxious room at work and definitely can't concentrate on aviation listings or ad changes. Honestly I daydream, thinking: "what if my water breaks walking to the printer, in front of all these coworkers" or what if: "it breaks while sitting in my chair and the guys around me can hear me peeing my amniotic fluid onto the floor"....honestly... I could care less I think I would jump up and just run out of this place. I'm that ready to have this baby. I will endure any pain, any embarrassment, really whatever it takes at this point! I think that is why God makes you wait 9 months because that last month honestly prepares you physically and mentally to go through whatever!

My latest challenge has been the belly comments. Or that I look so big I'm gonna have this 8, 9, 10 lb giant child. Really why do people think that, I'm full term, almost 40 wks pregnant, almost maxed out..... I'm supposed to look huge and my belly should most definitely be large & round. I have a life size child in there! I want a big ole healthy bundle of joy! All the more cheeks to kiss and rolls to cuddle! Really that is all we care about, people are always judging the outside, and what things appear to be. All that counts is what's on the inside! I guess one more lesson to teach and preach to little bubba bee!

So as I sit anxiously and wait and wait and wait. I have decided to change my mentality and anxiousness. I have no control over what is going to happen or when its going to happen, so I should use this time to practice my patience. I'm going to stop looking at today at tomorrow and obsessing on due dates, time lines, convenience. I need to just live right now and be thankfully my baby is still thriving in my womb! Safely in there with me all the time, I can feel its every movement, I need to cherish this feeling, for this too will pass. Time goes so quickly anyway..... He/She will come when ready and my body will know when that time has come. So for now, I will continue to prepare, enjoy my last days being pregnant, be lazy, waddle around, admire my belly...and just wait to meet my little honey and just live in the moment! Its helping me practice the much needed patience I will need the many years ahead as a parent!

“The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one“